


Sex vs. Flowers

by paradox_of_retaliation



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Birthday, Established Relationship, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 16:31:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16329590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paradox_of_retaliation/pseuds/paradox_of_retaliation
Summary: Kimi doesn't like clothes, Seb likes coffee, and unexpected relationship development happens.Or, two disasters of men try to be romantic with each other.





	Sex vs. Flowers

**Author's Note:**

> No plot to be seen, just a weird thing for Kimi's birthday!
> 
> I hope it's decent as I squeezed this out in such a hurry to get it posted on the 17th!

_'Open your door! I've been ringing for 5 minutes!'_

Kimi blinks hard to clear his vision. Who the fuck was texting him at this hour?  'Seb'. Of course. Why couldn't he sleep till at least 9am like normal people?

Kimi groans and drags himself out of bed. He should just get a copy made of his key and gift it to Sebastian for Christmas or something. That'd be pretty romantic, right? Even if said key would mostly be used for harassing Kimi at ungodly hours of the morning.

It's the thought that counts, he thinks as he presses the button that opens the gate to his driveway. He yawns and fumbles with the lock on the door for a second before he manages to finally open it and push it wide open.

Leaning against the doorway with his eyes barely open he realises he should have probably put some clothes on before he came out here as gust of wind makes him shiver. The air is getting a bit chilly and while strolling around in nothing but his boxers felt adequately suitable during the summer months, it wasn't the best attire for autumn mornings.

"Nice of you to finally let me in!" Sebastian yells from the bottom of the driveway. He looks to be more seasonally appropriately dressed from what Kimi can see.

He yawns again. Hopefully Sebastian isn't expecting to have sex straight away. He doesn't think he can stay awake long enough for that if he gets on a bed right now. Not that that has stopped Sebastian before, but Kimi would rather be awake for it today of all days.

"Oh, _hello_."

Kimi blinks his eyes open at the voice that is now much closer than before. He snorts at the look on Sebastian's face.

" _No_."

"Your lack of clothes is giving me some mixed signals here."

Kimi rolls his eyes, but accepts the hug that Sebastian pulls him into without complaints. It feels nice. Warm. He burrows a little deeper into the hood of the jacket Sebastian is wearing, nosing his way up his neck and humming in pleasure when Sebastian tries to wrap him up in the jacket too.

"You do own clothes, right? Wear them or you're going to freeze one of these days."

"I like being naked," Kimi mumbles.

Sebastian laughs. "You don't need to tell me. And I'm not complaining!" He starts slowly moving them inside, walking Kimi backwards over the threshold. "I know you're the Iceman and all, but I don't want to kiss an actual block of ice."

"So demanding!" Kimi chuckles, "You would help me warm up if I get too cold."

"I would," Sebastian agrees. He manages to close the door behind them without letting go of Kimi, and they both sigh happily at the warmth inside the house. 

Sebastian squeezes Kimi against his chest and presses a kiss to his ear. "Happy birthday," he whispers.

Kimi smiles against his neck before pressing a kiss of his own to the scruffy skin. "Thank you."

They stay like that for a few more minutes, enjoying each other's warmth and the closeness.

"...Kimi?" Sebastian starts hesitantly, "Can I take my shoes off at least?"

Kimi snorts and pulls away from him. "I don't know. Can you?" Sebastian sticks his tongue out at him which only makes Kimi laugh more.

He leaves Sebastian in the hall to hang his clothes while he follows the smell of coffee to the kitchen. Whoever came up with the idea of coffee makers with timers is a genius.

By the time Sebastian finally appears, having shed all three of his layers, Kimi is already sipping his own coffee. He nudges the other mug on the counter towards Sebastian who takes it eagerly and siddles against Kimi's side to peck him on the cheek.

"Thanks for the coffee," Sebastian says happily before taking a big sip. "Why does it always taste better when you make it?" he groans.

Kimi just shrugs and watches in amusement as Sebastian practically has a religious experience over his coffee. It's very flattering to his coffee making skills.

"Fuck," Sebastian moans, "What do you put in this?!"

"It's the same coffee _you_ drink."

"It tastes better here!"

Kimi shoots him a fond look. "Move here then and you'll get that every day."

Sebastian splutters and spits coffee all over the floor.

Kimi is not impressed. 

He takes the dripping mug out of Sebastian's hands with a look of disgust on his face and sets it in the sink, ignoring the wide-eyed look being directed his way. Then he grabs the roll of paper towels and rips two off before thrusting the rest of the roll into Sebastian's now mug-empty hands.

"Why am I dating you?" he asks himself out loud as he sets to wiping Sebastian's face clean.

Sebastian at least has the sense to look ashamed and blush.

"Did- did you ask me to move in?" he stutters, making a displeased noise when Kimi moves the paper towel over his mouth. "Kimi-"

"So what if I did?" Kimi asks. He gives Seb a judging look. "Are you going to spit coffee all over my kitchen in the future? I'm taking it back if you are."

Sebastian splutters again, but fortunately this time there is no coffee for him to spit on Kimi's kitchen tiles. Thank god for small miracles.

"Yes!" Sebastian eventually gets out. "I mean- No, I won't get coffee on the floor! But yes, I want to move in!"

Kimi nods in approval. "Good, good. What about piss on the floor? Because there's nothing worse than stepping into that with your socks on-"

"I don't piss on the fucking floor!" Sebastian yells, sounding very offended.

"That's good, too. You can also piss on the grass like I do."

"Can you stop talking about piss?" Sebastian whines, "You're doing that thing again where you start talking about gross shit because you don't know how to handle the fact that you just asked me to move in with you."

Kimi feels himself blush and tries to busy himself with cleaning up the coffee on the floor. "It's not a _thing_. I don't do that."

"Yes you do!"

"I don't."

"You do it all the time!"

"No."

"Kimi."

" _Seb_."

Kimi hears Sebastian sigh above him and thinks he has given up, but then Sebastian is crouching next to him on the floor and they're suddenly face to face again.

"Stop bullshitting me. You're red like a fucking tomato!"

Kimi is already opening his mouth to argue that he isn't, when Sebastian leans in and shuts him up with a kiss. All traces of his stubborness disappear in a blink of an eye, and Kimi almost wants to feel annoyed that Sebastian can play him this easily.

He'd rather focus on kissing back though.

The brief kiss, originally meant only for stopping Kimi from arguing back, morphs easily into a proper open-mouthed, breath-stealing, mind-blowing kiss. Kimi wishes they weren't on the floor of his kitchen with coffee splatter around them. He couldn't have asked for a less 'romantic' setting.

He manages to break the kiss after some more minutes. In his defense, it was a _really_ good kiss.

"Yeah, yeah, you made your point," he breathes. His mouth ticks into a smile when Sebastian laughs at him, equally as breathless as Kimi himself.

"We can continue the...hugging for warmth?" Sebastian offers innocently. "Celebrate you turning older and sexier. _And_ moving in together, of course. Can't forget that."

Kimi smirks. "Yeah, okay. You can spit in bed, too. I won't mind."

Sebastian sniggers and pulls them both to their feet. "You decided on the bed already? When the sofa is closer?"

"Hey, it's my birthday! I get to decide."

"You just want to go back to sleep afterwards."

"Maybe."

"I knew it!"

"Or maybe I think a bed is a nicer place to fuck you than a sofa."

"How romantic," Sebastian laughs.

"I _like_ romantic," Kimi says.

Sebastian pauses and turns to give Kimi a concerned look. "...Should I have brought flowers?"

Kimi lets out a surprised laugh. "Flowers die. It's fine," he reassures.

"But would you have _liked_ flowers?" Sebastian insists.

"I...guess?"

Sebastian suddenly drops his hand and sprints back into the hall. Kimi stares after him in bewilderment.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he yells after a couple of seconds of gaping.

"Ordering flowers!" comes the answer.

A faint blush rises to Kimi's cheeks. He runs a hand over his face.

"I told you you don't need-"

"I'm being romantic! You said you liked it!"

And, well, he _did_ say that, didn't he? Though his thought process had been more 'fuck in a bed without a condom and then nap together afterwards' than 'flowers on his birthday'. But maybe he could have both? Flowers were supposed to be very romantic, after all. Maybe it'd be nice. He's never received them, only bought them for old girlfriends, and they had seemed to really like them.

Sebastian appears in the doorway with his phone pressed to his ear. "Roses?" he asks.

"Uh... Sure."

Sebastian flashes him a smile and disappears back into the hall, leaving Kimi alone with his thoughts once again.

Roses? There had been rose petals on the bed during his honeymoon all those years ago. That sounds reasonably romantic.

"Flowers ordered!" Sebastian announces triumphantly as he appears in the kitchen again. "10 red roses from 'an anonymous admirer' to Mr. Räikkönen."

"Anonymous admirer?"

"Don't worry, I'll sign the card for you _personally_ once they arrive." 

Kimi huffs, feeling oddly touched. "You really didn't have to do that."

"Shhh." Sebastian presses a finger to Kimi's mouth. "We have 30 minutes before they deliver. If you stop complaining, I can give you your first present upstairs."

Kimi perks up. He nods eagerly and grabs onto the hand Sebastian offers him and allows himself to be dragged back up to the bed he had barely even left that morning.

As he is pushed onto his back on the bed and has Sebastian's mouth wrap around him, he manages to spare a brief thought to how great this birthday was shaping up to be.

And he was getting _flowers_ too after this.

He had really got lucky, hadn't he?

**Author's Note:**

> Kimi deserves flowers, okay? If I can't give him any, then I'll have Seb do it for me.


End file.
